Dating after age 40
There is a reason why ancient yogic principles to lead you towards enlightenment involve mantras.Mantras are words that are repeated with the purpose of aligning your thoughts with nature.Never married, she has a son James, now 13, by a man she parted from before her son was born.Ruthie has been looking for a boyfriend for the past decade.The first man to ask me out after my divorce was about seven years younger than me and handsome almost to a fault.We went out once, and while there was frankly nothing between us, the impact on my sense of self was tremendous. I got a couple of manicures and decided to change my hair and drop the sweats-only wardrobe.
‘I almost wept when I read her blog about going to a wonderful party hoping to meet someone,’ my friend Ruthie explained. You know you are being unrealistic and that it won’t happen — yet when it doesn’t, you can’t help being disappointed.’Ruthie is 47 and one of the most attractive women — of any age — that I know.I was pretty much a stay-at-home mom at the time whose idea of dressing up was maybe a sweat shirt that didn’t have a stain dribbling down the front.But while I’d grown older and my wardrobe had grown shabbier, I’d also sprouted a semblance of self-esteem and confidence and — I’m not saying this to brag, just sharing information with readers who may need it — apparently this shiny self-esteem stuff seemed to count for more than youth ever did because, oddly, men were more interested in me than they had been when I was in my twenties.When you train your brain to be biased towards seeing a particular outcome that will become your reality.
Therefore, the first step is to begin retraining the brain to see something different.
The image of men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s chasing after women half their age has driven many woman over 40 into my office.